Tag: marriage

The Marriage Bed

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you…” (Hebrews 13:4 – 13:5 NKJV)

What an interesting passage of scripture. I used to believe the thirteenth chapter of Hebrews was kind of a catch-all chapter; you know, a thought here, another thought there. Nothing tied together. Simply a number of random thoughts, possibly even last minute thoughts the writer didn’t want to leave out.

I felt verses 4 and 5 were completely unrelated.

But I now believe I was wrong.


Discussion about the marriage bed, covetousness, and contentment together?

Stranger things have happened.

Let’s take a look and see.

The writer declares marriage is honorable; or, in other words, marriage is precious, greatly esteemed, and highly favored of God. It’s God’s design and delight. Throughout scripture, from “God blessed them” in Genesis to “heirs together of the grace of life” in 1 Peter, the value God places on marriage is clear.

He ordained it, loves it, and wants to bless it.

Marriage is special to God.

Marriage includes the marriage bed.

The word translated “bed” is from the Greek word “koite”, which is where we get our English word “coitus” (meaning the physical union of male and female).

Let’s make sure we get this straight before moving on: marriage is precious to God, and He’s not put out when a married couple express their love and commitment to each other by having sex. He doesn’t see it as vile, vulgar, dirty, or anything like that.

But that doesn’t mean just anything goes.

“Marriage is honorable, and the bed undefiled…” indicates not only God’s opinion of sex, but also warnings against allowing it to become something other than the beautiful thing it is.

The Lord’s intention from the beginning was for His people to enjoy the gift of sex; without selfishness, greed, thoughts or images of another person defiling or making the marriage bed impure. And He wants us, people who declare Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, to steer clear of any sexual immorality.

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3 – 4:5 ESV)

In Hebrews 13:4, as well as in 1 Thessalonians 4:3, the Greek words translated as fornication and sexual immorality have basically the same root word; “Pornos”. It’s where we get words such as pornography.

In other words, pornography defiles the marriage bed.

Anything that trains the emotions and flesh to escape true intimacy and focus on selfish imagery, one’s own feelings and pleasures, memories of another person, completely goes against God’s intent and favor for the married couple.

Pornography, even “soft porn”, is a killer of true intimacy, even if viewed together (as some misguided counselors prescribe); and it most definitely defiles the marriage bed.

“Marriage is honorable, and the bed undefiled…let your conduct (way of living) be without covetousness; be content…”

Allowing pornographic images into your marriage bed feeds the spirit of lust, not true love and intimacy. It pumps more fuel into such troublesome spirits as covetousness and discontentment.

What should be the expression of commitment and complete oneness is reduced to an act not much above that of a couple of alley cats.

Defiled. Not satisfied. Needing more imagery, more graphics, more anything than what the spouse, the covenant partner, is able to give.

An open door for the enemy to come in and steal, kill, and destroy.

Once more, let’s look at our Hebrews passage. Only this time, read my loosely paraphrased version:

“Marriage, the union of a man and woman, is precious and extremely dear to God. He has established the marriage bed, that place where the marriage was consummated and where physical intimacy takes place, as a place of purity and holiness in His sight. Purity protects the union, but He will judge (that is, contend with, fight against, incarcerate, or remove) anything that attempts to defile the marriage sanctuary (to include pornography, uncontrolled and selfish acts, impure imaginations, and violations of the marriage covenant whether in thought, word, or deed).”

“So guard yourself, and your marriage bed, against covetousness; be content with the one God has joined you with. For He will never leave you or forsake you. You can depend on Him to continually bless your marriage union; spiritually, emotionally, and physically. His way.”

Remember, God created the marriage bed as a place of perfect enjoyment AND purity.

Don’t settle for anything less.

Adultery is a very dangerous game.


Meet the Avenger. The One Who carries out justice for the abused, downtrodden, and abandoned.

He seems to have a real problem with those who fail to honor their marriage vows, or the marriage vows of others.

In fact, I think it’s safe to say He cops a real attitude when someone decides to abandon their wife or husband, along with their children.

It’s a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Avenger.

In case you are wondering, I’m not referring to some fictional superhero, or a group of super-powered men and women who are always spoiling for a fight.

I’m referring to the Lord, God Almighty.

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3 – 4:7 NKJV)

“The Lord is the Avenger of all such…”

All such what? People whose marriages, families, and lives have been destroyed because someone stepped into territory not belonging to them. They coveted someone else’s spouse, took part in defiling the marriage covenant (which God considers to be holy), and have taken advantage of mercy and grace.

People who defraud, or take advantage of, and misuse a friendship to follow unhealthy feelings and inappropriate desires, always seem to use excuses which somehow blame God for their feelings. 

Things like, “We are so right for each other.” “God knows what I needed.” “The Lord gave me a true soul mate”. “Besides, after I get what I want, I’ll say I’m sorry and call out for God’s mercy and grace.”

Never mind the verses which contradict that line of reasoning. Forget the fact God hates divorce.

The God Who inspired the passages regarding mercy and grace also inspired Paul to write, “God is the Avenger of such…”

Wife, has your husband run out on you and is treating you like last year’s fertilizer?

Husband, did your wife leave you for someone more “spiritual” than you?

You do NOT need to pray the plagues down on them.

If you have sought to be reconciled, but are continually rejected, you can rest in God.

He has your back.

And while you may not see your family restored (people make their own choices), God will take care of you. He’ll take care of your family, your finances, and your future.

As for your spouse, well, they’ll have a lot of explaining to do when the Avenger begins to exact payment from them.

Yes, it’s a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Avenger.

He’s absolutely adorable as the God of mercy and grace; but as the Avenger…

He’s terrifying.

What’s Wrong With Shacking Up?

The term “shacking up” has been in use since around 1935. Of course, the practice of a man and a woman living together, and participating in all of the privileges of marriage (i.e. sexual relations) has been going on for a lot longer than that.

So what’s the matter with it? If two people love each other, what’s wrong with shacking up? What’s the big deal about having a marriage license?

Besides, what’s the State got to do with it, anyway?

I can hear some of you. “Jan’s on another rampage. Up on his high horse, letting us heathen know how rotten we are.”

Actually, no.

But I do have some thoughts I’d like you to consider; hopefully BEFORE you and your lover share the marriage bed without being married. However, if you’ve already made the plunge, please continue reading. There may be something here worth your time.

Allow me to pause for a moment and give my definition of marriage, as revealed in God’s Word, the Bible. Marriage is the covenantal union, recognized by God, between one man and one woman; spiritually, emotionally, and physically. And in conjunction with God’s recognition, the State recognizes the union as well, when such union is witnessed by at least 2 people, and officiated by a person deemed qualified. 

Okay. That’s done.

One reason shacking up is wrong is because fornication is wrong. What’s fornication? It’s having sex outside the covenant of marriage. Maybe not sexual intercourse, but enough physical contact that arouses one or both sexually.

Adultery and fornication are birds of the same feather; only adultery takes place when at least one of the consenting partners is married to someone else. And as far as God’s concerned, you don’t even need to touch someone to be guilty of adultery.

The same is true of fornication.

Yes, that’s one thing wrong with shacking up. 

“But we’re waiting until we can afford to get married.” Have you ever heard that statement?

It’s great to wait. But why not do both of you a favor and hold off on exploring each other sexually?

“Oh, we’re careful. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

Sure. But haven’t you heard when a man and woman consummate their marriage, the two become one flesh? If they’re one flesh before they’re actually married, if they decide the “experiment” didn’t work, two people can have untold and undetected damage; which can have an ugly effect on any future relationships.

“What’s the big deal, preacher? Adam and Eve weren’t married.”


As marriage is a covenant, where everything belonging to one person becomes the property of their mate, and vice-versa, so it was with Adam and Eve.

Adam willingly (I believe) offered his rib to God, knowing what God was able and desiring to do. In essence, Adam gave so Eve could live.

Eve offered herself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually to her husband.

Both, first of all, submitted their life to their Creator God. Adam trusted God to perform the operation, and Eve trusted God with His choice of a husband.

And the two became one. They both gave their all for the relationship.

What’s wrong with shacking up? Commitment. Or, I should say, a lack thereof.

“But I love her and can’t stand to be apart from her.”

“I only want what’s best for her. I’d never do anything to hurt her.”

By taking from her the most precious part of her life, you ARE hurting her. Plus, you are saying to her and to God, “I enjoy sex, but I’m not ready to be a real man.”

That’s what’s wrong with shacking up!

Little lady, if your man doesn’t love you enough to protect your honor, he’s not worth jumping in bed with. He may be a great “lover”, but that doesn’t mean he really loves. And you’ll never know just how great a man you’ve found if you say “yes” every time he asks. Besides, you are of greater value than that.

Don’t you think it’s worth discovering?

Sure, he may give you money, whisper sweet nothings in your ear, and make you feel like a real princess. But if he won’t help you guard your precious “garden”, how can you be sure he’ll protect the rest of you?

No commitment, no bed. No marriage, no commitment.

A promise to marry, just so the guy can “score”, isn’t anything more than a password to browse the Internet.

“But we need to make sure we’re compatible with each other.”

Look. A male and a female ARE compatible sexually. That doesn’t need to be tested. How about testing the strength of your love, and PROMISE TO EACH OTHER to stay sexually pure UNTIL your wedding night? If you or your partner can’t stay sexually pure BEFORE your wedding, there’s a good chance you won’t stay pure afterwards.

Shacking up doesn’t test a thing. It only reveals how unwilling at least one person is to really care for their mate.

To me, that is what’s wrong with shacking up.

How Do People Fall Out Of Love?

Recently my wife and I were visiting with some friends, discussing how sad it was that some of our mutual friends divorced after many years of marriage.

Christian friends. Christians in pastoral ministry. Close friends. It breaks our hearts.

As we talked, their seventeen year old daughter asked us a question; a very good question.

“How do people who once loved each other just quit loving?”

She went on to say she always thought love was supposed to last forever.

Like I said, it was a very good question.
Have YOU ever had that same question?

More specifically, have you ever found yourself no longer in love with the person you promised to honor and cherish forever? Have you brushed aside your marriage vows for a walk on the wild side?

Has someone caught your eye; someone other than your covenant partner?

How do people fall out of love?

Maybe it would be better to first discuss how people fall IN love.

No one actually loves another person the first time they meet. There’s no such thing as love at first sight. Sure, there’s the initial “wow, they’re good looking”, and possibly a desire to get to know the good looker better begins to form.

But love isn’t the same as infatuation. The eyes are not the seat of one’s affections. The eyes will send information to the heart and soul, but the heart must decide how it’s going to process that data. 

Reinforcing the eyes’ downloads, the other senses join in. Words spoken, the way they are spoken, perfumes worn, soft touches and warm embraces all can solidify the message the heart is receiving…

“It’s true love. This person will make me happy forever.”

But it’s never a feeling. It’s a decision. 


That’s a basic description of how a person falls in love. Info is gathered by the senses, filtered through the mind (soul), and judged (decided upon) by the heart.


How does a person fall OUT of love?

First, when their senses aren’t guarded – if their eyes are allowed to see things that stimulate them emotionally (or sexually), they are already running the risk of falling out of love. If someone other than my spouse stimulates me in an area reserved only for true love, I’m in danger.

Even if there’s nothing sexual happening, an emotional bond can be built through conversation alone. “They’re so great to talk with. They understand me, and we have so much in common…”

Next, the allegiance which really belongs to the spouse begins to be shifted to the other person; the one who’s more fun, listens better, looks better, etc.

It can happen slowly, or, if there are other things happening in one’s life such as sexual addiction or troubles already in the marriage, it can happen very quickly.

Then, the mind begins to convince the heart that a change is needed. It presents all the data it’s received to the heart, and like a great used car salesman, sells the idea as a necessity.

The heart becomes deceived.

Inevitably, opportunity is just around the corner for anyone who has yielded this far.

Opportunity to become a slave to an illicit affair. 

Falling out of love sounds so innocent, doesn’t it? I mean, the phrase “I just don’t love them anymore” makes it sound as though it can’t be helped.

If that’s true, then no one could ever help falling IN love. So what good would marriage vows serve?

Please examine your life. Are you enjoying the extra attention from someone other than your spouse?

You have a choice. You decide whom you’ll love.

People just don’t fall out of love.

They walk out of it.

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23 ESV)


Sex and Love



It’s used to sell clothes, coffee, cars, and sometimes certain celebrities. Or maybe magazines, movies, and makeup.

Some folks just plain use it.

To some, it’s a pry bar, others as a treat for good behavior. Kind of like training a dog to learn a trick; once they get it down they are rewarded with a treat.

Great with dogs. Not so, with people.

It’s been referred to as “making love”, but too often it has nothing to do with love. The old phrase from the 60’s, “Make love not war”, had nothing to do with love and everything to do with sex.

Sex and love are not synonymous terms. They cannot be used interchangeably. At least, they shouldn’t be.

SEX is not the mark of maturity, nor is it a sign of commitment. It should never be used to hold on to a relationship, or as an excuse to leave one.

SEX should be enjoyed as an expression of love between a husband and wife; one of many ways a couple will declare their undying love for their mate throughout their married life.

But SEX should never be the focus in a marriage. A relationship built around sex can have too many opportunities for the enemy’s sabotage.

Sex and love. My, how people have gotten the two jumbled up.

SEX can’t cover a multitude of sins, let alone even one sin.

But love does.

SEX doesn’t lay itself down for the other, especially in the heat of the moment.

But love does. Love will stop whatever it’s doing for the sake of others.

SEX can be forced, traded, and trafficked.

Not so with love.

So, try not to get sex and love mixed up. I mean, don’t use one word if you really mean the other.

It is great, though, when sex reflects real love, and when love can be expressed in such holy intimacy.

Sex and love. Part of the Creator’s plan for His best creation.

How hard is your heart?


Here’s a very important question for each husband and wife: 

“How hard is your heart?”

What do I mean by a “hard heart”?

Our heart, our emotional and spiritual core, can be tender or hard, pliable or brittle, peaceful or wired, engaging or repulsive.

We are the ones who manage our heart. 

Do you keep your eyes peeled for some kind of mistake or blunder by your spouse? If so, your heart may be getting hard.

Do you compare your spouse with a former girlfriend/boyfriend? Not a good move, if you’re trying to keep your heart tender to God AND to your spouse.

How are you at keeping confidences, or do you feel the need to expose your spouse’s idiosyncrasies to the world? Sclerosis of the heart is beginning to develop.

You’ve been hurt, cheated on, misunderstood, and abandoned by your spouse. But how’s your heart?

Is it tender to God?

Can God console you with His tenderness and strength? Are you interested in what He may have to say about your situation? If your answer is “No”, then your heart is growing hard.

If you will not guard your heart against becoming hard, there will probably come a time when you and your spouse will part ways.

Jesus said it. 

They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19:7-8 ESV)

If EACH person, husband and wife, will make sure their heart is tender to God AND each other, divorce will NEVER, EVER, be a part of their lives.

So, how hard is your heart?


The Operation


imageIf I were to explain to you how I felt, sitting in the Doctor’s office that day, I’m sure you’d understand. Everyone has moments like I was having; pain, uncertainty, confusion, loneliness. I was grateful for everything I’d been given, all I had accomplished, and for the opportunities which were before me.

I was definitely part of something really huge; colossal, in fact!

But something wasn’t right.

No, nothing was wrong with the world, or even my world; everything was great. The problem was with me. The problem was IN me.

So, here I was at my very first doctor visit.

I sat with the Doctor, discussing my symptoms. While he listened, he occasionally scribbled on the small notepad he’d pulled out of his coat pocket, nodding his head as if he knew exactly what I was talking about.

Finally, I finished.

Neither of us said a word.

As we sat silently in his office, he reviewed his notes while I imagined all the things he might say to me. Frankly, I was just a little bit scared.

“You are going to need surgery”, he said, as he lifted his eyes to mine. “You are not well, but if you’ll trust me, I can make you better; perfect, in fact! It will require allowing me to put you into a deep sleep. I’ll make an incision in your chest area, about 10 inches long. There will be some loss of blood, though not a lot.

“I need to remove a something from you; but you have a couple dozen of them anyway, so you won’t miss it. Of course, I need your authorization in order for me to perform the operation.”

“Surgery? I don’t know, doctor. I’ve never had as much as a skinned knee, and now I’m supposed to allow you to cut me open? Surely there’s another way! I mean, how about therapy?”

“Therapy isn’t what you need.”

“Couldn’t I take care of my problem with medicine? I’ve got a great insurance plan.”

“No, I’m sorry. Medicine will not cure you.”

I could almost hear my heart, as it pounded nervously in my chest. An operation? Surgery? Why? And what if something went wrong during the procedure? What if the diagnosis was wrong? Could I really trust the doctor?

As I sat there, my mind racing with questions, I finally had the nerve to ask the question I’d been too scared to ask.

“Doctor, what exactly is wrong with me? Cancer? Pancreatitis? Kidney stones? Why do I need to be cut open, and have part of me removed?”

He smiled as he looked into me eyes, and deep into my heart.

“You need a wife.”

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

“At last!” the man exclaimed. (Genesis 2:18-23 NLT)

Sports Fans


Sports fans are so loyal. I should know. I’ve been a Chicago Bears fan for 30 years.

Please. I’m alright. You see, I have hope.

Interesting thing about fans: they weather bad season after losing season. “Next season!”, is their annual mantra.

The Chicago Bears’ record over the last 30 years is 264-216. That’s a winning percentage of 55%. Not great, but not bad.

But for a sports fan – it doesn’t matter at all! Why?

Because there’s ALWAYS next year. Hope.

Sports fans study the stats, team roster, draft picks, and who’s on injured reserve. If they can get close enough, they’ll even tell the manager how to run the team.

Just listen to the folks at work on Monday mornings, following a big game. Monday’s the day all the experts are out and about.

Yes, sports fans are a strange breed. They can be so frustrated and even angry (to the point of throwing pillows, books, TV remotes, etc.) about a certain play someone did or didn’t do; yet they still wear the team colors.


And when they talk with others, they say phrases like, “We sure beat up on those Vikes yesterday!” Or, “We really need to get a new coach and quarterback!”

Notice the way sports fans talk; it’s as though THEY own the team. Or like they put on the pads, or swing the bat every week.

Sports fans.

I’ve got a Jay Cutler doll I won from a “claw machine”. For a while I let him watch the games with me for good luck. Ha! I finally banished him to the deep, dark recesses of my basement. It was either that or I was going to start sticking long needles into him.

Yes, the basement was the better choice.

But I’m a fan! A real, live sports fan. I can talk sports smack with the best of them. And even though my team’s record was 5-11 this year, I still am able to say it loud and proud: Next year!

Yep. A strange breed of cat. Sports fans.

And as a sports fan, I believe husbands and wives should be as loyal to each other as sports fans are to their teams. Instead of trading “teams” after a bad year, learn to say, “Next year will be better.” And then study and prepare, learning all you can in order to improve your “chances” of having a winning marriage the following year.

Imagine the difference we could see in our marriage if we had the patience of a true sports fan. For instance, what if we learned to use the line Oakland Raiders fans have used for years: “We’re rebuilding. It’s gonna take awhile, but with good coaching, good draft picks, hard work, and a lot of patience, a winning team can be built.”

Folks, our marriages are MUCH MORE important than ANY sports team. Even if we really were the owners of a sports team, the team isn’t more important than the marriage.

If we can find it in our hearts to “forgive” our team for making us feel so bad, or embarrass us in front of our family and friends, isn’t it possible we can find enough grace and mercy for our spouse? Come on, you know it’s in there somewhere.

Don’t act like a fair weather fan. Don’t be so quick to trade your spouse simply because they’ve given you a disappointing season. Grow up.

Sometimes it takes a little bit of time to turn things around. But things can improve. There can be better seasons; better years.

Remember, the best is yet to come. When?

Next year, sports fans.

And with God, all things are possible.



-the state of being familiar with something
-the state of having knowledge about something
-a friendly and informal way of acting or talking

There’s an old, well-known expression regarding familiarity. You may never have said it, but I’m certain you’ve heard it.

“Familiarity breeds contempt.”

In other words, the more we get to know someone, the more apt we are to notice their faults, flaws, and freaky mannerisms. Their shining armor becomes tarnished. It’s not like we try and find something to pick at; it just happens. Their jokes are no longer funny, their apologies sound like hollow, empty words, and their table manners are abhorrently disgusting.

The honeymoon is over.

What happened? We were never bothered or irritated before when they told their jokes. Why now? Is it just because we’ve been together too long? Is that why it seems as though we’ve grown apart?

I’d say no. Probably not.

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t things that should be changed.

For instance…

Familiarity breeds, not necessarily contempt, but slothfulness; i.e.- laziness.

I’ve noticed this in my own life: in the different places I’ve worked, and in the various relationships I’ve had through the years.

Who’s the person who normally gets the brunt of our grumpiness? People to whom we’re supposedly the closest to.

Professional drivers can, at times, let their focus on safety become slack. After all, they’ve driven the same road over a thousand times, and without incident. So what if they are driving a little fast, or the road’s a little wet. They know what they’re doing.

Until the crash that claims their life, or the life of someone else


A letter carrier, walking the same route everyday, house to house, can become so used to their surroundings they never notice when something changes. I know a guy who, after walking the same route, months on end, walked into the raised tailgate of a minivan. Cracked his head wide open.

Never saw it. He allowed familiarity to blind him.

Another guy tripped over a rock. Someone had changed the landscaping but the carrier didn’t see the change. He was blinded by familiarity. He quit looking. And broke his ankle.

Have you ever owned something brand new? You were its first owner. Remember how cautious you were with it? Careful! You don’t want it scratched, or messed up in any way.

At least for the first few months.

But, after a while…

A lot of the problems husbands and wives face stem from this thing called familiarity; not because the honeymoon is over.

No, generally familiarity leads to…

Laziness. Slothfulness in the way we look at people, treat loved ones, or even take care of ourselves.

Laziness in communication. No longer thrilled to spend a quiet evening with family; it’s just too boring.

And one day our world crashes in. Or we walk into a raised minivan tailgate.

Or our spouse walks out of our life for good. Or…

Familiarity can breed contempt. It can mark the beginning of an end. It can spell danger.

Yet familiarity isn’t a bad thing, because real intimacy grows from such closeness.

Familiarity is the outgrowth of shared experiences, even tragic experiences.

It’s easy to share nice, feel good experiences with someone you love. It doesn’t take much effort to enjoy the company of someone you’re physically and emotionally attracted to.

Familiarity is fun in those cases. Wouldn’t you agree?

But sooner or later, at some point in our lives, we’ll find ourselves in the familiar company of someone who irritates the daylight out of us. It may even be our spouse!

And yes, we may need a little space in order to return to some semblance of sanity. But let’s keep our eyes, and our heart, on the prize; the prize of intimacy with people we truly care about.

People we love.

Let’s endeavor to maintain intimacy with God, our spouse, our family and loved ones, in the bond of peace; regardless of the work involved.

“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with long-suffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3 NKJV)

Familiarity breeds contempt?

It doesn’t have to.

And it won’t, if we will do our part.

Words and Pictures


Words and pictures.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and a thousand words create a picture.

What kind of picture do your words create? A picture of a peaceful, trusting, caring relationship with your spouse?

Or are you creating a war zone with your mean-spirited, degrading, and hateful words?

Time to evaluate. Take a snapshot by asking your spouse to comment on your picture.

And listen to their words.

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