Tag: divorce

Adultery is a very dangerous game.

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Meet the Avenger. The One Who carries out justice for the abused, downtrodden, and abandoned.

He seems to have a real problem with those who fail to honor their marriage vows, or the marriage vows of others.

In fact, I think it’s safe to say He cops a real attitude when someone decides to abandon their wife or husband, along with their children.

It’s a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Avenger.

In case you are wondering, I’m not referring to some fictional superhero, or a group of super-powered men and women who are always spoiling for a fight.

I’m referring to the Lord, God Almighty.

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3 – 4:7 NKJV)

“The Lord is the Avenger of all such…”

All such what? People whose marriages, families, and lives have been destroyed because someone stepped into territory not belonging to them. They coveted someone else’s spouse, took part in defiling the marriage covenant (which God considers to be holy), and have taken advantage of mercy and grace.

People who defraud, or take advantage of, and misuse a friendship to follow unhealthy feelings and inappropriate desires, always seem to use excuses which somehow blame God for their feelings. 

Things like, “We are so right for each other.” “God knows what I needed.” “The Lord gave me a true soul mate”. “Besides, after I get what I want, I’ll say I’m sorry and call out for God’s mercy and grace.”

Never mind the verses which contradict that line of reasoning. Forget the fact God hates divorce.

The God Who inspired the passages regarding mercy and grace also inspired Paul to write, “God is the Avenger of such…”

Wife, has your husband run out on you and is treating you like last year’s fertilizer?

Husband, did your wife leave you for someone more “spiritual” than you?

You do NOT need to pray the plagues down on them.

If you have sought to be reconciled, but are continually rejected, you can rest in God.

He has your back.

And while you may not see your family restored (people make their own choices), God will take care of you. He’ll take care of your family, your finances, and your future.

As for your spouse, well, they’ll have a lot of explaining to do when the Avenger begins to exact payment from them.

Yes, it’s a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Avenger.

He’s absolutely adorable as the God of mercy and grace; but as the Avenger…

He’s terrifying.

A Nasty Word 

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Did you know there is a nasty word in the bible?

Really, there is.

For you folks who’ve memorized the Authorized Version, no, it’s not the word you’re thinking of.

The word speaks of pain, anguish, betrayal, brokenness, mistrust, disorder, and confusion.

It mocks the faithful, steals from the innocent, curses the efforts of the loyal, and raises a defiant fist at every attempt to stop it in its tracks.

It’s a word that’s used thousands of times each year.

Every year.

It’s a word which gains its strength in direct proportion to the hardness of one’s heart. The harder the heart, the stronger and more damaging the word.

A nasty word. 

DIVORCE.

Divorce is a nasty word.

Severed relationships, extinguished flames of love. Abandoned hopes, forsaken promises, magnified fears, and misplaced allegiances.

All because of a nasty word – divorce.

Though it’s in the bible, it was never God’s idea. Notice what Jesus said:

“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19:8 ESV)

“The hardness of heart…”

I understand there are two sides to every story. But when a marriage is terminated, at least one person’s heart has become hard.

So how does a heart become hard?

A number of ways. For example:

When a person begins to think about their own needs and wants, rather than those of their spouse and family, the heart is hardening.

When good feelings replace the marriage vows, the heart is hardening.

When “I know what God said, BUT…” becomes an all too familiar phrase, it’s a warning sign of a hardening heart.

When flirting is acceptable, and warnings ignored…

When fantasies play unchecked in the mind…

…the heart is getting hard.

“For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Malachi 2:16 NKJV)

If someone is beginning to look better to you than the one you’ve committed your life to, take heed to your heart. Pay attention, and soften it up with repentance.

Turn back to your spouse, your family, your God.

And leave the nasty word far behind.

An Open Letter To Adulterers

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There are approximately 56 million couples in America. 112 million men and women who were joined together as husband and wife to begin their own miniature civilizations.

That number represents about one third of this nation’s population. After reading a number of different statistics on various websites, and after discovering that an estimated 50% of marriages are being undermined (or maybe “mined”, as in blown apart) by adultery (emotional and/or sexual), I decided to write this letter to the 56 million or so people who have already had, or who are considering having, an adulterous affair.

Here it is.

An Open Letter To Adulterers.

Dear Mr. or Mrs. Adulterer, 

Although you probably envision yourself as a romantic, passionate lover, your decision to ignore your marriage covenant isn’t about romance or love. Adultery is not the steamy hot tryst Hollywood likes to portray. 

It is a real life killer of relationships, hopes, dreams, character, and, of course, trust. 

Adulterers aren’t lovers. They are murderers. “Affairs” don’t just happen. Neither does first degree murder.

I’m sure you don’t believe that about yourself.

How does cheating on your spouse make you anything but a selfish, out of control loser? How do you justify your feelings as love? Didn’t you “love” the person you married? Didn’t you promise to love, cherish, and protect your partner until you were separated by death?

You say you can’t live without your new found love. You’ve said that before. And just because your heart has become so hardened it can no longer distinguish between truth and lies doesn’t change the fact you are a liar, a cheater, and totally untrustworthy. 

If you won’t honor your vows to one, don’t think for a moment you will next time. And if your new “love” couldn’t keep their vows with the one they swore “until death do us part”, how can you honestly believe you’re the exception? That they’ll treat you differently?

Mr. and Mrs. Adulterer, will you stop fantasizing long enough to face some real facts of life? 

Fact – adultery isn’t simply a fling, an affair, a rendezvous, or even a one night stand. It isn’t merely an inappropriate touch, or a suggestive remark. 
It is an attack against your very own civilization; the very one you promised to protect. 

It’s as though you grabbed your spouse by the hair, threw them to the ground, and held them while your “lover” chopped off their head with a machete!

 

Adultery isn’t any nicer than ISIS. It’s just less bloody. 

 

Fact – adultery teaches a lesson to the next generation that it’s okay to be unfaithful. It’s alright to ignore vows and obey sensual desires. If it feels good, do it. After all, happiness is the main thing, isn’t it?

Is that what you want your children to learn?

Happiness is not the main thing, if in the process you must destroy others in order to have your way.

Fact – adultery is a lazy person’s way of dealing with marital problems. It’s kind of like a kid playing hooky from school because they can’t pass a test. They didn’t study for the test, didn’t pay attention in class; instead they spent the time daydreaming about playing outside with friends. So, they skip school rather than work on the lesson. 

So you have problems with your spouse. Yeah? And who doesn’t, at some point in their marriage? 

It might help if you quit looking out the classroom window, and began studying your lesson.

Fact – adultery doesn’t fix any problem. It never repairs relationship issues, it won’t cure sexual addictions, and it only mocks the ones who say they did it for the sake of love.

Rolling around on the bed of adultery is not an expression of love. It is the picture of a person who likes themself better than anyone else in their world. Even more than the person they are “making love” to. 

An adulterer does not understand love.

As I close, may I introduce you to a few timeless truths you may or may not have heard before? 

1. God avenges the one who has been cheated on. 1 Thessalonians 4:6

2. God blesses the marriage bed, but judges the sexually immoral and the adulterous. Hebrews 13:4

3. God sees you as an infidel, and one who’s denied the faith, if you won’t care for your own (which includes your spouse and kids). 1 Timothy 5:8

4. God will NOT grant you His peace as long as you’re rebelling against His will. He will not bless your hands while they are the hands of an adulterer. 

Maybe you’ve thought through all this rhetoric and still believe your happiness is all that matters. Your mind’s made up. Your course is set. 

Then have at it. 

But hopefully you’re re-examining your heart; remembering the sacred vows of yesterday. If so, it’s time to get up and out of the situation. Break it off, turn your back on it while you turn your face toward the ones who really matter. 

God. And the little civilization called your family. 

Sincerely,

Jan

How hard is your heart?

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Here’s a very important question for each husband and wife: 

“How hard is your heart?”

What do I mean by a “hard heart”?

Our heart, our emotional and spiritual core, can be tender or hard, pliable or brittle, peaceful or wired, engaging or repulsive.

We are the ones who manage our heart. 

Do you keep your eyes peeled for some kind of mistake or blunder by your spouse? If so, your heart may be getting hard.

Do you compare your spouse with a former girlfriend/boyfriend? Not a good move, if you’re trying to keep your heart tender to God AND to your spouse.

How are you at keeping confidences, or do you feel the need to expose your spouse’s idiosyncrasies to the world? Sclerosis of the heart is beginning to develop.

You’ve been hurt, cheated on, misunderstood, and abandoned by your spouse. But how’s your heart?

Is it tender to God?

Can God console you with His tenderness and strength? Are you interested in what He may have to say about your situation? If your answer is “No”, then your heart is growing hard.

If you will not guard your heart against becoming hard, there will probably come a time when you and your spouse will part ways.

Jesus said it. 

They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19:7-8 ESV)

If EACH person, husband and wife, will make sure their heart is tender to God AND each other, divorce will NEVER, EVER, be a part of their lives.

So, how hard is your heart?

 

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