Tag: Hope For Your Marriage

Adultery – A Brainless Act

This is for everyone who is even remotely entertaining the idea of having some “extramarital fun”. Who has become flirty with the guy at work, or the gal next door. The couple who’ve allowed their marriage to become nothing more than a document filed in a county courthouse somewhere.

For the person who believes internet chat rooms and pornographic web sites aren’t a problem.

Maybe it’s for you, or someone you know.

Webster defines adultery this way – sex between a married person and someone who is not that person’s wife or husband.

Some folks call it an affair, others try to convince themselves “everyone is doing it”. They believe the rhetoric which says “traditional marriage is old-fashioned.” Still others will try and write it off as a one night stand, a lapse in judgment; one of those “I couldn’t help myself” moments.

But adultery is a violent attack against one’s spouse. It is just as violent as taking a knife to their throat, and while the blood pours onto the ground saying to them, “I just don’t love you anymore. I’ve found someone else.”

It is like Malachi wrote – “…the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage…” (Malachi 2:16 MSG)

Some even post pictures or write about their new “relationship” on Facebook. They want people to help ease their conscience by saying, “Congratulations”.

Makes me want to say, “Congratulations on your brainless act of adultery.” Wonder how that would go over?

If I had a dollar for every time an adulterer said, “I just want to be happy”, I’d be a VERY rich man!

Think about a murderer, on the witness stand at his trial, answering the question, “Why did you murder your spouse?” Imagine them saying, “I just wanted to be happy.” How would that sound to the judge?

Adultery, according to the writer of Proverbs, is a brainless act.

“Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive; expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good.” (Proverbs 6:32 MSG)

Brainless act; letting the animalistic nature take over. (By the way, I know what it’s like to be brainless and come very close to losing everything).

Allowing a smile from someone other than one’s spouse become an invitation. Welcoming strange fire into one’s bosom. Becoming obsessed with thoughts about someone who should be off limits.

Feeding one’s curiosity with thoughts such as, “I wonder if they feel the same as I do?” “Are they giving me some kind of hidden signal?”

No one has ever just stumbled and fallen into adultery. It has always been the result of first ignoring the warning sounds, the barking watch dog, in one’s heart. That inner voice which screams, “Don’t go there! Don’t be a fool!”

Or, like on the old sci-fi show, “Lost in Space”, the robot which says, “Warning! Warning! Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!”

I think we all know ignoring certain road signs can be detrimental to one’s health. Drinking poison can be deadly. Setting oneself on fire is suicidal.

Adultery is a brainless act. 

It is a violent act. Not only to the wounded spouse and the rest of the family, but to oneself. As we read in Proverbs, “…soul-destroying, self-destructive; expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good”.

Someone once told me, after they had been caught in adultery, “I need to leave my spouse, because I don’t want the other person to get away.”

A brainless, and heartless, act. 

According to Jesus, it need not be an actual physical action, but could be simply lust in a person’s mind/heart toward someone other than their spouse.

It may only be one-sided. The other person, the object of “affection” may not realize they have become someone’s fantasy.

But it is still adultery.

The people who produce pornography EXPECT to become someone’s fantasy. Pornography is either adultery or fornication; it all depends on whether the person viewing it is married or not.

Are YOU married? Are YOU viewing pornography? Have YOU allowed thoughts of another person to push aside thoughts of your spouse. Are YOU letting someone else get too close to your heart?

If so, RUN, don’t walk, AWAY from the other person as quickly as possible. Don’t even linger to say goodbye. Shut down the flow of evil thoughts, desires, and actions.

Start USING your brain. Understand what adultery is, and the consequences of getting involved with someone other than your spouse. YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT!

No one can afford the cost of such a brainless act.

So, run from even the hint of an inappropriate relationship.

And keep the knife from your spouse’s throat.

The Wandering Heart

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Infidelity. Cheating. Affair. Adultery. 

Not uncommon words in our society. Possibly not uncommon in our life experience.

One set of statistics I looked at claimed 30 to 60 percent of marriages have at least one partner who has been involved in an extramarital affair.

Extramarital. Even the word doesn’t make sense.

Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman; a husband and wife. The oath of the covenant, the marriage vows, stipulates each party will love, honor, and protect the other; no matter what circumstances may arise. 

To protect is to guard against an intruder, an interloper. Which would include someone trying to drive a wedge between the husband and wife.

“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6 ESV)

“Let not man (or woman) separate…”

 

Why would a person, man or woman, allow someone to break up their marriage?

 

Oh, I’m sure you’ve heard the excuses, er, uh, I mean, the reasons why.

In case you haven’t, here are a few:

“He works all the time…”

“She’s not as attractive as she used to be…”

“My husband doesn’t understand me like ______ does…”

“She makes me feel young again…”

“He’s so tender and kind, and loves me like my husband used to…”

“My wife nags me all the time! _______ is so much fun to be around…”

No man ever leaves his wife for another woman because his wife isn’t pretty enough or sexy enough. 

Women don’t jump up and take another woman’s husband just because it was “love at first sight”.

 

If a man has wandering eyes, it’s because he has a wandering heart. Same thing with a woman who has problems honoring the covenant with her husband.

 

The wandering heart is an unguarded heart. It’s a heart that really hasn’t committed itself to a “for better or worse” covenant relationship.

The wandering heart hasn’t disciplined it’s eyes, ears, mind, or hands to faithfully love only one person.

If my eyes look at other women, even as “eye candy”, my heart is unguarded. It’s shod with wandering shoes; it only needs an opportunity.

If I allow another woman to speak to me as only my wife should, again, my heart’s getting ready to wander.

Unprotected thoughts, curious thoughts that take us to forbidden places lead the way for the wandering heart.

The wandering heart is a lying heart. It always wants to shift the blame for its infidelity to someone else, or to some other reason. It despises the truth.

Truth is what the wandering heart needs for protection, or for restoration.

If you’ve ever had your spouse tell you you’re no longer good enough, please understand this truth; you will never be “good enough” to compete with a wandering heart. 
Don’t beat yourself up.

Rather, let the peace of God rule in your heart. Protect your heart with the truth of God’s word. And trust Him for a miracle.

That your man/woman will be delivered from the wandering heart.

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