Tag: be a man

Failing Fathers and Derelict DadsĀ 

I’m a dad. Not a perfect dad, but a dad, nonetheless.

I’m a dad who has made a ton of mistakes, and who’s wasted numerous hours wishing for some way to undo the messes I’ve made.

I’m a dad who had to look his son in the eye and say I’m sorry, please forgive me for allowing our home to become a war zone, because I wanted to go AWOL. 

I’m a dad. One who’s watched other dads make the same, stupid decisions I have made. 

And I’m a dad with a message to other dads; a word for failing fathers and derelict dads.

Dads, even though this out of whack society may believe it’s a school’s responsibility to raise your children, there’s a much higher authority who’s holding you accountable. 

And I’m not referring to the Federal Government.

Dads, no one forced you to be a dad. Whether your child was an “accident” or planned, no one twisted your arm and made you have sex with your child’s mother. You may have enjoyed the moment, wrapped in the warm embrace of copulation; while never for a moment giving any thought to a new life you were helping create. But, and like it or not, you became a dad.

Your child’s mother carried your child for 270 days. Morning sickness, back aches, and weight gain are just some of the things your child’s mother had to endure; so your child could be born.

Maybe you were never taught how to be a good dad. I’m sorry if that’s the case. But don’t use it as an excuse. Instead, use it as a reason to learn how to be a good dad.

Here are some common characteristics of good dads.

1. They are an ever present help in time of need. They aren’t off doing their own thing, expecting the mother to provide for the child’s needs. 

2. They don’t just tell their child how to act, they model it. They model honesty, integrity, and the proper way to interact socially.

3. They treat the child’s mother with dignity and respect. Whether or not the mother and father married, or stayed married, good dads don’t turn their child against their mother.

4. They keep their word. Broken promises are real killers, and one of the quickest ways to kill a child’s ability to trust anyone’s word is when a dad doesn’t keep his.

5. They allow their child to dream, to attempt things that may seem a little odd, and to make mistakes. They don’t get upset with a less than stellar performance.

6. They realize their child is not their clone. They have a life of their own. They need support, some advice gained through years of experience, but not someone to live their life for them.

7. They do what’s necessary to ensure the child is raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They don’t just send them to church. They lead by example. 

8. They are slow to anger, and quick to forgive. They don’t harp over and over about things they said they’d forgiven. 

9. Their corrective action, whether spanking or time-outs, isn’t punitive. It is always used to help train the child, to reinforce the correct way to live. 

10. They rejoice when their child succeeds. They are never envious or mean spirited when their child is treated well, or blessed by God.

Dads, don’t let some failures keep you from your responsibilities. Children are usually very forgiving, if you’ll be honest with them. Mark my word, though. A phony they can spot. Fake repentance will only drive you farther from your child.

If you’re wondering where I dug up my characteristics of good dads, I’ll tell you. It shouldn’t be a secret, because the book has been around for a lot of years.

I was simply describing some of the ways my Father God is to His children. He’s always on the job, even if His kids are neglecting Him. He doesn’t quit loving, interacting when possible. 

And He never gives up believing in His kids. 

If you’ve been a failing father or a derelict dad, don’t you think it’s time to make a change? 

I can almost guarantee your child thinks so. 

Men, Be Men


Recently I spoke to a group of men about secrecy and shame. I told them of my long time addiction to pornography, and its effects on my life, marriage, and ministry. 

And I spoke about freedom.

While I was excited to have such an opportunity to speak, I was wishing I was sitting there listening to someone else tell THEIR story.

I later told some people, “If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now.”

My message was clear and to the point. God created us for something greater than hiding in the shadows; hiding in shame. He’s put a lot more into us than we seem to want to utilize. 

The word for that day was, “Don’t hide with the devil.” That’s a good word for men today, don’t you think? I mean, stand up and face God, regardless of what you’ve done or didn’t do. The quickest way to get forgiveness AND victory over sin is to step out of the shadows, get out of the bushes, and humbly approach the Lord in the Name of Jesus.

Yes, it’s a good word for today. 

But an even better word is, “Men, BE MEN!”

God created men to be strong and courageous. To provide and protect. He gave man the ability to love and live in community and communion. 

With others, and with God. 

The devil wants men to think all of that was lost when Adam didn’t stand up for what was right. True, Adam did yield his rights, privileges, AND dignity to the devil. 

But Jesus got it back!

NOW the word of God says, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” (1 Corinthians 16:13 ESV)

Yes, His word for us is, “Men, BE MEN!”

Have nothing to do with things that steal, kill, and destroy. Move away from a life of secrecy and shame. God has a life of victory, dominion over darkness, and joy prepared for you. 

And it won’t be found in the shadows, hiding with the devil.

Flee youthful lusts, but pursue righteousness and a life empowered by the Holy Spirit. It’s what God purchased for you, through the death and resurrection of Jesus.

Be a man! A man who is submitted to God. A man who can say, “Get behind me, Satan!” A man who can tenderly love his wife and children, leading them by example into a life with God. 

A man who will guard his heart diligently; lest he lose his testimony with his loved ones, or his ear for the Spirit’s voice.

Be a man!

If you are involved in anything that the Lord wouldn’t be pleased with, DROP IT!

If you aren’t sure, talk with your pastor. 

Men, BE MEN! 

There’s no time left to be anything but what Christ Jesus wants you to be. 

So do it. Get out of the shadows. Get in front of God. Ask Him to fill you with the power to be A MAN!

A man of God.

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