The Confessions of a Closet Doubter


So what happens to me if can’t find my way clear to believe all of the bible?

Who says I have to?

And so what, if I don’t?

Can I enter into Heaven if I don’t believe in the biblical account of creation? What if I believe in the “six days”, but use Peter’s “thousand years is a day” verse to define the length of each day? And why not? People use it to prove other things.

What if I don’t believe Jonah lived for three days and nights in the belly of a great fish? Would that ruin my chances for eternal life?

Would it be better for me to say I believe all the bible, from Genesis through Revelation, when God knows I don’t?

Who cares more about what I really believe; you or the Lord?

Will I be given the opportunity to walk the streets of gold if people discover I am a closet doubter? You know, there’s an awful lot of stories in that big book. Like the one of Samson whooping up on a number of men using only a donkey jawbone. Really. And I’m expected to believe THAT?

What about the story of Gideon’s fleece, Jacob’s ladder, or Cain’s wife? I have to believe EVERYTHING? What if I haven’t even read “everything”?

The thief on the cross; what did he believe that unlocked Heaven’s gate for him? Was it the story of Joshua’s sun standing still, or Hezekiah’s shadow moving backwards ten degrees?

Where can I find scripture telling me I must believe every jot and tittle?

Do YOU believe everything?

Don’t get me wrong. I WANT to believe everything. I desire to be FULL of faith, having no doubt. But sometimes I just can’t see it. Even with my measure of faith, it’s tough at times.

I DO believe Jesus is God. He is the Word made flesh. He came, lived a sinless life, for me. He went about doing good, and healing all oppressed by the devil. He was crucified as the Lamb of God, taking upon himself all of mankind’s sin; yes, even mine.

I DO believe God raised Jesus from the dead. He ascended into Heaven. He is Lord of all.

I DO believe he is MY Lord. Without a shadow of doubt, I believe.

Oh, I THINK I believe everything in the bible, but there are times when I find a little (or a lot of) doubt tiptoeing around in my heart.

But I KNOW what I believe; I have the evidence, the reality, in my heart.

And I’m working on believing the rest.

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