I sat on the hot and dusty stone wall staring at the man. For the past half hour we conversed. No, we didn’t converse – he read my mail and opened my heart like no one ever had. I’ve been in love countless times, married more times than I care to remember. Even the one I’m living with, though we’ve lived together six months, has never touched my heart like this man.
How did I become the person I am? Why do I feel as though my life’s been nothing more than a total waste until now?
Though my childhood wasn’t the greatest, it probably wasn’t the worst. I just don’t know. My parents loved me, I suppose, but I never was quite certain. I remember my mom saying to me, more than once, “I wish you’d never been born.” I guess I’ll never know how an eight year old could earn such hatred.
Next to the oldest of four siblings, I was forever in some kind of trouble. Always compared to my older brother, and every time coming up short; I couldn’t wait to leave home.
Finally on my own, I bounced from relationship to relationship; lover to lover, weekend rendezvous’ and casual affairs to finally meeting Mister Right.
Five times.
And five times they turned into Mister Wrong. Five divorces.
Do you have any idea what failure, constant, no letting up failure, can do to a person? You begin to believe failure is your destiny. Hopelessness runs your life, affecting every decision you make. You feel fortunate just to breathe.
People look at me as though I’m the epitome of worthlessness. I can see it in their eyes and detect it in the tone of their voice. I know my life’s a mess, but I’m used to it. I know I shouldn’t shack up with Aaron but, if I don’t marry him I’ll never lose him. See? No more failure.
I usually make my way to the well this time of day. I try to draw our daily water when no one else is around. I’m embarrassed by the way men look at me. I can feel their eyes travel up and down my body as though it belongs to them, as though they own me.
And I can’t describe what it’s like to be shunned by the women in town.
But today is different. Today I’m beginning to feel alive; welcomed to the human race.
I’m starting to believe my destiny has less to do with me and my past, and more to do with him.
He told me of my past, yet he didn’t bury me with it. Sure, he spoke to me about worshipping in spirit and truth, but that didn’t affect me near as much as did the way he talked with me, not to me or about me.
He offered me something I don’t believe I was ever offered before. Another chance at life. A forever, never ending, ever growing kind of life.
And a love that’s truly out of this world.
Oh, here come his disciples. Time to head into town.
The woman left her water jar beside the well and ran back to the village, telling everyone, “Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could he possibly be the Messiah?” So the people came streaming from the village to see him (John 4:28 – 4:30 NLT)
Questions:
Have you ever felt like the woman at the well?
Do you feel like a failure?
Has love and life been hard on you?
Are you “hopelessly hopeless” or is there a glimmer of hope for a better life?
Are you ready for a change?
“Come, see a man…, Jesus.”
Jan Grace 